Thursday, December 06, 2012

Blog Guelph: 1 in 4 Women

At Rest by peterkelly
At Rest, a photo by peterkelly on Flickr.

Today is National Remembrance & Action Day on Violence Against Women – a day that marks the anniversary of the murders in 1989 of 14 young women at l'École Polytechnique de Montréal who were killed because they were women.

You know, it’s a shocking and a terrible statistic: 1 in 4 women will experience violence by a spouse or boyfriend in their lifetime.

What is even more devastating is that on average, every six days a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner. On any given day in Canada more than 3,000 women are living in emergency shelters to escape domestic violence.

This is terrible; it is so deeply wrong.

We all know women (or perhaps even ourselves) who are in, or have been in, abusive situations; relationships that are violent and just as often, psychologically and emotionally abusive. These women are all around us. In unexpected places at all levels of society and many times we don’t know anything is wrong.  1 in every 4.


It’s a strange thing to think you can love someone who hurts you. But I think women are really good at blaming themselves, thinking they deserve it, believing that they really aren't good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough for their partner. 

In my own life, I've learned that love will never come from a man that ignores you, withholds from you, disregards your emotions, disappears, denies you praise, disrespects you in any way, tries to control you, or ever touches you in any way other than in affection.

Never, never is it acceptable for a man to lay a hand on a woman in aggression, anger, control, or violence. Never.

Please ladies, be sure you watch for the warning signs of abuse early in your relationships. According to the Red Flag Campaign and the Guelph Wellington Women in Crisis  some of the important early red flags are: someone with substance abuse, they may have a quick temper,  they may not show up for dates or disappear for days, they may cheat on you or have lots of partners/affairs/women, they may ignore you (especially in public), they don’t show interest in your opinions or feelings, they’re physically rough with you, they may try to take your money or use you, they may tell you you’re stupid or put you down, or they may even tell you how to dress or act. These are the earliest signs to watch for in a relationship – if you see any of them, and I mean any of them, high-tail it away.

If you are ever in need of help in any way, contact the Guelph Wellington Women in Crisis organization.

And gentlemen, please look out for our women.  Always.

1 in 4 should be 0 in 1,000,000.

~ Aidan M.D Ware


Mike Love said...

I think everyone should read "The Temple of My Familiar" by Alice Walker. A startling hypothesis for the origin of mysogony (sic)

Aidan M.D. Ware said...

Thanks for the suggestion Mike. I'll check it out.

For more great Guelph photos, try these links:

Downtown Guelph, University of Guelph, The Guelph Hillside Festival or The Guelph Lake Conservation Area.

On the other hand, you may be curious about what the City of Guelph looked like last October or maybe Spring.

Indeed you may be the type that would love to wade through our deep and refreshing archives. There are over 5,000 terrific Guelph photos, taken by a growing tribe of fantastic photographers, currently available for your viewing pleasure. Check out the Blog Guelph archives located 'back up there' and appropriately titled: Blog Guelph Archives.